UNDERSTANDING AND BEING AN ALLY THE “T” IN LGBTQ+

June is designated as Pride Month across the world. Recently, Stark County held its First Pride Festival at Centennial Plaza. In Part 1 of this blog series, information was provided to define sexual orientation/gender identification and how you can be an ally to an LGBTQ+ adolescent.

In the second part of this LGBTQ+ series, C&A is providing information to expand your knowledge and become an ally for everyone in this community! This post will answer the question “What’s the T?” in LGBTQ+ as well as exploring other gender identities and learning about gender expression.

In the previous post, C&A discussed how there is a chance you likely know someone who identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community. As you read this this post, it is important to keep in mind that not every person who is LGBTQ+ uses the terminology throughout this text. Much of this information is based on the most widely understood/accepted terminology and is likely to change over time. When in doubt, ask someone how they identify themselves first and seek additional information.

What does the "T" in LGBTQ+ stand for?

In LGBTQ+, “T” stands for transgender or “trans” for short. Transgender is sometimes used as an umbrella term to define individuals who are typically assigned as either female or male at birth (based upon things such as chromosomes, reproductive glands, and genitals) and later discovers that their internal sense of self doesn’t match the assignment they were given at birth. When someone’s gender identity matches their assignment at birth, they are often referred to as cisgender.

Though the term transgender has been used since around the 1960’s or 70’s, the concept of a person being transgender has existed for much longer. The United States National Park Service provides stories of gender variant/expansive individuals throughout history. An example is Albert Cashier, a soldier assigned female at birth, who served in the Civil War.

In an article from the Cleveland Clinic, they discuss how new research shows that transgender individuals have brain structures more closely matching the gender they identify with, furthering the fact that people do not “choose” to be transgender, but rather they are hard-wired this way from birth.

You can be an ally for transgender youth by helping others learn about and normalize the existence of transgender individuals throughout history! We know that representation matters. Children and adolescents feel safer and more accepted when they see examples of transgender people online, in movies, books and television.

In fact, in a study done by Stephen Russell from the University of Texas in Austin, it was indicated that “transgender youths report having suicidal thoughts at nearly twice the rate of their peers, with about 1 out of 3 transgender youths reporting considering suicide.” He also identified using a person’s chosen name in at least one setting (home, school, etc.) lowers suicidal thinking by almost 30%.

What is "transitioning"?

When someone identifies as transgender or non-binary, they may choose to go through transitions to help them better align their external self with their internal self or they may not go through any kind of transition at all. Transgender and non-binary individuals often experience gender dysphoria: a mental health diagnosis that addresses the anxiety, stress, discomfort and/or depression that may be experienced due to a person’s gender identity not matching their assignment at birth. This is one reason why someone may choose to transition. A person may choose to socially transition (coming out to loved ones, using name/pronouns that match their identity, changing appearance to match identity) or medically transition (using hormones, surgeries). Some people may choose to socially transition in more ways than others and the same goes for medical transitions. This could be due to costs of medical care or simply a preference of the individual. What is important to remember is that regardless of whether someone decides to make any of these transitions, their identity is valid and should be respected.

Expressing one's gender identity and roles

Gender identity refers to the different variations of historically masculine and feminine traits that a person aligns with internally; however, some people may not align themselves with either. Most cultures, like that of the United States, have historically functioned using a gender binary. This means that throughout our history, gender has been divided into two categories that each person falls under: man or woman, masculine or feminine. Some cultures have long been functioning with additional gender identities, such as Two Spirit individuals in Native American culture or Sekrata in Madagascar who have variations of gender expression and gender roles. Earlier, we discussed that transgender is a gender identity because it describes an individual who was assigned at birth, though their internal since of self is different than what they were assigned.

Gender expression is the way that a person presents themselves to the outside world, often as their identified gender. This is sometimes based on traditional ideas of masculinity and femininity; however, because these traditional views are changing over time, people of all gender identities may express themselves in ways that don’t conform to traditional views of masculine and feminine. This may be done through clothing, jewelry, make-up, hairstyles, ways of speaking/walking, and/or pronouns. For example, a cisgender man (assigned male at birth and identifies as a man) may wear a dress, but this doesn’t mean that they identify as a woman, nor does it assume their sexual orientation. Some people who do not conform to traditional views of masculinity/femininity may refer to themselves as gender diverse, gender expansive, or gender variant. Remember, it is always best to ask someone how they identify.

Based on a person’s culture or society, what is considered masculine or feminine is different and these concepts continue to change throughout history. Traditional views of masculinity and femininity in the United States have influenced the gender roles and stereotypes that still exist today. Gender roles are the behaviors that are associated with a particular gender. These roles are what create gender stereotypes, or the expectations that a society has of a person based on gender.

For example, in the Unites States, traditional gender stereotypes assume that men should be dominant, competitive, or physically strong and women should be submissive, nurturing, and sensitive. Boys should play sports, video games, and work out. Girls should play with dolls, make-up, and take care of others.

One way to advocate and be an ally for LGBTQ+ individuals is to challenge these gender stereotypes. This doesn’t mean forcing anyone to play with toys they don’t want to or putting them in activities that they don’t like. In fact, it’s the opposite. By encouraging children and adolescents to explore their own interests, we are giving them the space to learn and develop their identity. Though it may seem confusing, being supportive and asking questions can increase comfort in them sharing their thoughts/feelings about their gender identity more openly.

EXPRESSING ONE'S GENDER IDENTITY AND ROLES

This means that throughout our history, gender has been divided into two categories that each person falls under: man or woman, masculine or feminine. Some cultures have long been functioning with additional gender identities, such as Two Spirit individuals in Native American culture or Sekrata in Madagascar who have variations of gender expression and gender roles. Earlier, we discussed that transgender is a gender identity because it describes an individual who was assigned at birth, though their internal since of self is different than what they were assigned.

Do's and Don'ts language for trusted adults

When someone does not identify with the traditional roles and expectations of their assignment at birth, they might identify as non-binary or genderqueer. Some non-binary folks may even identify as transgender because their assignment as birth does not match their internal sense of self. As always, it is important to ask how someone identifies as a sign of respect.

Everyone has pronouns! Essentially, pronouns are the words that we use to take the place of a person’s name. Common sets of pronouns are “she/her” “he/him” and “they/them.” One way to find out what a person’s pronouns are is to introduce yourself by the name and pronouns that you use. If you make a mistake and use the wrong pronouns for someone, it is best to apologize and correct yourself. Of course, there are more than just these sets of pronouns that a person may use, which makes it even more important to ask rather than to assume. Did you know that using the proper pronouns for someone can save lives? Referring to someone by the name and pronouns that they use is shown to significantly reduce depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.

Here are some examples of words or phrases to avoid:

“What genitals/parts do you have?” – It is never appropriate to ask someone about their genitals and sends the message that a person’s genitals are what defines them as a person, though there is much more to a person’s identity than their body. It is as equally inappropriate to ask someone if they have had surgeries as some trans/non-binary folks may not be interested in undergoing any medical transitions. If this is a topic that they bring up in conversation, be sure to listen and show that you understand.
“What is your REAL name?” or “I support you, but I am not calling you that.” – As previously mentioned, choosing a different name can sometimes be a first step in socially transitioning. Sometimes a person may try out various names until they find the one that suits them best. You may hear people in the trans/non-binary community refer to the name they were given at birth as their “dead name” and prefer that it not be used. Though this may be confusing/difficult for others, it’s important to use the name that someone has chosen. Using the name (and pronouns) that someone shares with you can increase their self-esteem, reduce their risk of suicide or self-harm, and may increase their trust in sharing more about themselves with you.
“Tranny” – This is a term that has been used offensively to demean the trans community. Some people in the trans community have re-claimed this word and may utilize in certain settings; however, many prefer that this word not be used by anyone.

Remember that words hurt and can be mentally and emotionally damaging. They can break a person down and the effects can be long-lasting. This may lead to a decrease in self-esteem and self-worth and may increase symptoms of depression and anxiety or could lead to thoughts of self-harm and suicide. Aside from the words/phrases listed above, the words that we use to describe others can sometimes be harmful and encourages others that it’s okay to use these words. Always try your best to lead with kindness, even when you may not fully understand a person’s identity.

What are appropriate responses trusted adults should give/use if a parent suspects their child is struggling with their identity, what are the signs parents may/should be looking for?

You are already on your way to being more supportive of children struggling with gender identity by gathering new information. You can be supportive of a person’s gender identity in/out of school by using gender neutral terms.

One of the most important things that a parent or other adult can do if they suspect that their child may be struggling with their gender identity is to make it known that they are a safe person to talk to about problems/concerns they may be having. You can also show support by talking positively about LGBTQ+ individuals in your personal life or in the media, and/or by displaying signs/symbols in your home that show your support for the LGBTQ+ community.

Some signs that a child may be struggling with their gender identity could be:

Withdrawing/Secluding themselves from family or friends
Difficulty in school or at home
Requesting to go by a different name/pronouns

*Note: If a child is requesting this, it’s important to show support by using the name and pronouns that they have expressed; This will help build trust and let a child know that you are a safe person to talk to

Experimenting with different types of clothing/hairstyles

Making statements about not fitting in

Statements about suicide

Changes in mood/behavior

If you are noticing any of these signs/symptoms for your child, seek support from community resources, such as mental health specialists at Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health and gender-affirming support groups like Margie’s Hope. Margie’s Hope provides support groups for transgender individuals and their families and is in the Akron area.

What are some appropriate resources families can use to educate themselves if they are struggling with what the child has shared?

For a list of some local resources around Stark County:

www.starkhelpcentral.com/coming-out

Transcend Canton

For resources around the greater Cleveland area:

Margie’s Hope

LGBT Cleveland

PFLAG Akron

Akron Children’s Center for Gender Affirming Medicine

For national resources:

www.glaad.org/resourcelist

There are of course many more resources available which are included in the Summa Health handout as well as through this resource from Planned Parenthood!

This is the first of a two-part series on how to learn and support the LGBTQ+ community. The author of this blog is C&A’s Joseph Fisher, LPC, who has been a school-based therapist for the past four years. C&A’s expert Trauma Specialist Mary Kreitz, LPC, CDCA, who has 20 years of clinical experience in the field, and C&A doctoral intern Sushmitha Mohan contributed to this post.

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STARK COUNTY SCHOOLS MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS

By Dan Mucci • 16 Apr, 2024

The sixth annual Stark County Schools Mental Health Awareness Week is May 6-10 Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health (C&A), CommQuest Services and Pathway Caring for Children will partner to bring positive mental health awareness to more than 53,000 students and 7,000 support and administrative staff in all 18 Stark County School districts.

UNDERSTANDING RACE IN SOCIETY AND THERAPY: CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS’ EXPERIENCES

By Chris Alpert • 16 Nov, 2023

In the film, I’m Not Racist… Am I? as introduced and explored in first of this three-part blog post series, the participants engaged in multiple workshops that address race and racism. Interpersonally, the group of students grapple with their own differences and similarities, which impact the content and emotions they share with each other. There are several moments in the film that demonstrate the clear differences in the participants’ understanding of race. In the first workshop, the students were exposed to the idea that all white people are inherently racist seeing as American society was founded on principles meant to support white people (see more on structural racism here, here, and here for further understanding). Several white students in the film became emotional during that workshop. Most students remained quiet. Following this workshop, a black student and a white student were filmed independently of each other in their own homes and discussed the workshop and what they learned with their families. The white student discussed the differences between structural racism and bigotry with her mother and struggled to identify with the principles taught in the training. The black student stated to his mother how almost everything spoken in that workshop applied to him. The student further discussed his feelings by stating how overt racism is and yet how “subliminal” it is at the same time. How can something be so in your face and yet under your feet simultaneously? I immediately reflected on the dialectic of something being so clear and yet so vague. The film continued to grapple with student differences. At the beginning of the film, one white male student discussed with his mother how he feels that all individuals, if they apply themselves wholeheartedly, have the same chance of success regardless of their skin, gender, sexuality or other demographic factors. As a white man myself, I must confess that when I was in high school, I had the same mindset. How could it be different? Especially when I was reading mythic bootstrap literature in high school classes. Sure, the harder you work the more you deserve, but that statement does not work for all Americans. I had not accounted for racial factors that inhibit the growth of others, not to mention socio-economic factors, nationalities, citizenship status, gender and age. I continued to reflect on these statements and connected them to my experience in high school in New York City. In the wake of the Black Lives Matter movement responding to the murder of George Floyd, multiple private progressive schools in New York, including the one I went to, suffered scrutiny from students and alumni who identify as black, indigenous people of color (BIPOC). Multiple Instagram accounts surfaced with the handle “BLACK AT [school name].” I read the posts in 2020, and again before writing this post, and remembered feeling horrified knowing these acts of racism, bigotry and microaggressions happened all around me. This was subliminal to me, yet overt to others.

UNDERSTANDING RACE IN SOCIETY AND THERAPY

By Chris Alpert • 01 Nov, 2023

When I first came to Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health (C&A), I was unsure what to expect regarding race and diversity at both the organization and in Ohio. Having grown up in Harlem in New York City and attended graduate school in San Diego, CA, I had heard stereotypes about Ohio, specifically that Ohio was a very white state. At C&A during orientation, we discussed the role of first impressions for clients and discussed how the front desk staff are considered, “the directors of first impressions.” I loved this term. After orientation, I wondered, why we didn’t discuss demographic factors such as race and gender? We generally pick those up upon first impressions and have implicit biases and judgements in those first impressions. It was odd to me that we did not discuss these demographic factors. As the summer and fall progressed, I noticed that there were few discussions about race as it impacts C&A and the kids and families we serve. I noticed the number of white staff at C&A and reflected on my own privilege as a white man who can easily avoid the discussion of race because I do not suffer discrimination on an individual or systemic level. I reflected on my first experiences discussing race in high school. When I was in high school at the Calhoun School, my father received a grant to create a film and workshops that addressed race and racism seen through the eyes of high schoolers in New York City. My dad had completed a training hosted by the People’s Institute for Survival and Beyond. This training opened my father’s eyes to his own white privilege and motivated him to teach kids, specifically white kids, about their privilege earlier in life. I first saw the film, I’m Not Racist… Am I? (see more here ), toward the end of high school after it had come out in 2014.

THE DANGERS OF MARIJUANA USE

By Dr. Karita Nussbaum • 20 Oct, 2023

Ohio is at a crossroads once again with marijuana on the ballot next month. The following article is from Every Brain Matters, an organization that believes that the THC in marijuana is a dangerous and addictive drug. Every Brain Matters is a trusted source of educational material based on the latest scientific evidence. One of the major criticisms of expanded marijuana legalization is that it makes the drug more accessible to minors. A brand-new study just published in JAMA Pediatrics shows that it has become a valid concern.

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE – SOUTHERN NIGHTS: ILLUMINATING HOPE AND MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS FOR THE YOUNGER GENERATION

By Savannah Okray • 11 Sep, 2023

For the last few months, C&A has been diligently preparing for the 18th Annual Let Your Light Shine – Southern Nights presented by The Repository by organizing auction items, printing tickets and using their creativity to make sure that eventgoers feel as though they are walking into an evening in the south, with barrels and lanterns to boot. The committee, led by chair Jen Frey and co-chair Molly Sperling and auction chair Stacy Remark are hard at work, it’s crucial to remember that this event raises awareness and dollars to support the agency’s programs and services amid suicide prevention and awareness month.

GROWING WITH YOUR CHILD AS A PARENT

By Dan Mucci • 30 Aug, 2023

I have grown up as a parent for the last four and half years! As luck would have it, a little more than four and a half years ago, I started at Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health (C&A) in the mission advancement department with my responsibilities being the marketing and development coordinator. Some might say, I did a good job of raising my two kids, who were teenagers at the time. But, boy, if I had known of the services C&A offered and even some of the parenting tools for my toolbox, parenting might have been even better.

WHAT DID YOU DID THIS SUMMER?

By Dr. Karita Nussbaum • 09 Aug, 2023

This summer I attended a Marijuana Prevention conference near Denver, Colorado. I was curious to know what the locals were saying after 10 years of legalization. The speakers included a Denver Police Commander, school resource officer, medical doctor, residential treatment program CEO, deputy from the High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area (HIDTA), Executive Director of the National Drug and Alcohol Screening Association and others related to educating the community and defending children’s rights. In the audience were parents, professionals and advocates for children from all over the United States. The conference was geared toward the protection of children.

FROM DARKNESS TO DISCOVERY: MY COLLEGE JOURNEY OF SELF-TRANSFORMATION

By Savannah Okray • 24 Jul, 2023

When I arrived on campus, I tried to immerse myself in college culture. I joined a sorority, the speech and debate team, and two other clubs which were extensive time commitments, factoring in no time to relax or focus on bettering my mental health. This lack of attention to my mentality, combined with my low self-esteem that prevented me from making friends led me down a dark hole in which some days I thought it would be better if I wasn’t here. About four weeks into school (at Ohio University), I realized that I had to do something, as I knew it was not safe for me to continue down the road I had been on. From there I moved home and attended an inpatient treatment center where I worked with counselors for five hours a day, learning coping skills and other ways in which I could help mend my suffering mental health. Through the lessons I learned I was able to get the skill set and help I needed and returned to school three weeks later.

THIS IS WHY WE CELEBATE

By Mary Kreitz • 19 Jun, 2023

This time of year there are a lot of celebrations happening in our communities – Memorial Day, Pride Festivals, Juneteenth celebrations, 4th of July and many more. These events aren’t just frivolous excuses to have parties, backyard barbecues or festivals. They are important cultural and civic events we need these celebrations.